The Honeymoon…At Last  
                                   Song of Solomon 4:1-5:1 (#12)

”The Honeymoon…At Last” is today’s title, as we pick up the series,
            “Finding Love In All The Right Places.”

Read verses 1-7

A group of Hollywood movie producers were asked,

     “What, in your opinion, are the most dramatic sounds in the movies?”

They agreed upon the top ten:

*A baby’s first cry
*The blast of a siren
*Waves breaking on rocks
*The roar of a forest fire
*A foghorn
*The slow drip of water
*Galloping horses
*A distant train whistle
*The howl of a dog

The influential producers claimed that of the ten, one sound causes more emotional response than any other.  It elicits a range of powerful feelings—sadness, envy, regret, tears, and supreme joy.

(Let Us Stand)-  Play:  The Wedding MarchThe Wedding MarchIn nearly every culture in the world, a wedding is one of just a handful of
events marked by ceremony and tradition.  From the opening note of the prelude, to the ushering out of families and guests, a wedding is a people’s recognition that this momentous event matters.

In nearly every culture in the world, a wedding is one of just a handful ofevents marked by ceremony and tradition.  From the opening note of the prelude, to the ushering out of families and guests, a wedding is a people’s recognition that this momentous event matters.For several months we have sat with a young couple—Solomon and Shulamite—as they have shown us, page by page, through their family album. We have sat respectfully, quietly—looking, listening, learning.  Now—it’s finally here!— The last chapter concludes with a dramatic moment:  “On the day of the wedding, The day of the gladness of his heart.”

The next line finds the couple at their honeymoon destination.

…the ceremony is over,
…the cake has been eaten,
…the rice has been thrown,
…the guests have been hugged
…the tears of joy have been gently wiped away
…wedding regalia has been changed into travel clothes.

In nearly every culture in the world, a wedding is one of just a handful ofevents marked by ceremony and tradition.  From the opening note of the prelude, to the ushering out of families and guests, a wedding is a people’s recognition that this momentous event matters.For several months we have sat with a young couple—Solomon and Shulamite—as they have shown us, page by page, through their family album. We have sat respectfully, quietly—looking, listening, learning.  The last chapter concludes with a dramatic moment…the ceremony is over,…the cake has been eaten,…the rice has been thrown,…the guests have been hugged…the tears of joy have been gently wiped away…wedding regalia has been changed into travel clothes.And as the kids play and dad pays, the couple embarks upon their honeymoon.   And two separate covenants are wed together for all-time.

Chapter 3, is the public ceremony, where the bride and the groom exchange symbols called “rings’ as a sign of their commitment and covenant.

In Chapter 4, their  covenant is sealed through the joining of two bodies in a private ceremony. 

One wag said the honeymoon is the interval between the husband’s “I do,” and the wife’s “you’d better!”

One hint that we are witnessing a honeymoon is the mention of the bride’s veil. Some scholars suggest that this may have been the first time Solomon saw her without her veil!   Guys, how does that strike you?

There’s a mountain story about a young couple who showed up at the preacher’s house to get married.  After the ceremony, the groom said to the minister,

    “How much do I owe you?”
    “Well,” the preacher answered, “just whatever you think she’s worth.” 

So the boy lifted the veil, took a good look and gave the preacher 50 cents. The preacher took a look and gave him 25 cents change. 

It’s unlikely that this was the groom’s first peek.  Women in the Ancient Near East wore a veil only on special occasions.  A veil…

…underscored her inaccessibility,
…it protected her excessive attention,

and, as in Near and Middle eastern cultures know today, it enhances modesty, and attractiveness. 

A veil—like modest dress and demeanor today—has a unexpected, opposite effect—Immodesty may get a girl or boy attention in the short run, but after a awhile it gets routine and bland. Conversely, Modesty enhances mystery and attractiveness.

Shulamite approaches her wedding night shy, timid, insecure and perhaps even a little fearful.  And Solomon creates what one writer calls “an environment of affection.”  He puts her at ease in a loving sensitive, caring way.  He doesn’t come off like Conan the Barbarian! Hold that thought; we’ll come back to it.

Solomon praises her by affirming her beauty in a kind of physical inventory. For her it signaled unconditional love and acceptance. He does it by singling out eight parts of her body, beginning with her hair.
 
Don’t misunderstand. This is no shallow, groping, Hollywood-style “the physical is everything” approach.  It’s their honeymoon!  They have waited a long time—

…Now, The time is right!
…The restraint that has marked their relationship is removed!
…It is blessed! 

Some Christians can’t ever imagine God saying, “Go for it!”  That’s precisely what He says here! It may be that God Himself is speaking in chapter 5:2.
(Read.)

Saving the details for a more appropriate setting, let’s think about some of the strange and seemingly off-the-wall things he says to her.

*He talked about her “dove’s eyes” early on, chapter 1:15.
*Then he turns his eyes to her hair. He has been married for less than 24
    hours and he puts everything in jeopardy.

”Your hair is like a flock of goats.”

I don’t know what that conjures up on your mind. They aren’t just any old goats. The distant sight of a flock with their long, silky hair glistening in the sun being led—literally, “skipping,” down the sides of the picturesque slopes of rich, fertile Mt. Gilead, was a sight that made passersby stop and take note. It was an awe-inspiring scene of tranquil beauty.
 
Shulamite got the point.  When he takes her veil off, she is smiling.  And then, he smiled— she has all her teeth.  They are symmetrical…no gaps.  (This was centuries before crowns and braces.) “The Message” reads,

       “Your smile is generous and full—expressive and strong and clean.”

And they are glistening white—like the skin of freshly shorn sheep!

She has taken care of herself, hasn’t been abused. She would have been a perfect model for a Crest commercial.

Much to the chagrin of some denominations, she is wearing make-up— “Your lips are like a strand of scarlet…”   He’s saying, “Oh, those ruby red lips.” 

One historical notes (quote):

    “When archeologists unearthed a 5,000-year-old makeup kit in a royal
     tomb in Babylonia, they said it was the earliest dependable evidence of
     the use of cosmetics. But some diehards still believe the practice started
     with Eve. At least one thing is certain:  moderns didn’t invent beauty
     potions.  Galen, a second-century physician, perfected a beauty cream
     which consisted of oil, beeswax, and water.  Although cosmetics of the
     early Christian era were crude and sometimes dangerous, they were
     used.”                                  (“Living Illustrations, Fowler, p. 16)

It seems to me that one mountain farmer summarized it best:  “If the barn needs paint—paint it.” 
 
“You mouth is lovely,” he says, moving in for a kiss.  He uses an unusual Hebrew word. He’s not being redundant.  It means “the mouth as an organ of speech.”

Even on his wedding night, he can’t ignore her character—Her edifying, positive, appropriate speech enhances her physical beauty!

Someone said, “Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of
                          marrying the whole girl.”

How is Shulamite responded to all of this?  She’s smiling.  She blushes! “Your temples (it can be translated “cheeks”) are like a delicious, a delectable slice of red, sweet pomegranate!

Blushing has become passé today; and is often viewed as a sign of weakness.  The capacity to blush says something about character.

The groom’s next compliment is the most baffling of all.  Men, don’t try this at home. (Read verse 4)

What woman wants to be told she has a neck that looks like a military base?   He is saying,

        “When I caress your lovely neck, it gives the same delight, joy and
         confidence, as when I see the shields of dad’s mighty men hanging in
         the tower of the wall around Jerusalem.”

So, what are the principles? …the Right Now points?

Charlie Brown is talking to Snoopy, sitting atop his doghouse with a look of love on his face.  “You’re writing to Truffles, too?”  “What a neat girl,” Snoopy says.  He types away:

        “Behold, you are beautiful, my love, Your hair is like a flock of goats
         moving down the slopes of Gilead.”

Charlie Brown reads it and says, “You stole this from the “Song of Solomon.’

Snoopy answers, “Solomon would have understood.”

Indeed!  But, men, it’s more important than we understand wise Solomon.    At no juncture in all his writings does he show more wisdom that here, on his wedding night.

Solomon teaches and models three great principles.

1.  Men and women are different.  (They respond differently).

Does that shock anyone?  Despite the constant drum of the feminist movement to the contrary, they are very different, by design.

How does Solomon communicate with his bride?  He understands that she is a creature of the ear.  He talks to her, heaping on lavish, sincere praise and compliments.  Conan O’Brien quipped:

    “A study in ‘The Washington Post says that women have better verbal
     skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study—Duh!”

A major national survey at the University of Michigan, found (quote):

    “more wives than husbands said that they wished their spouse talked more
     about thoughts and feelings, and more wives felt resentment and irritation
     with husbands than vice versa.  The researchers conclude: In marriage…
     women talk and want verbal responsiveness of the kind they have had
     with other women, but their men are often silent partners, unable to
     respond in kind.”

Solomon used “romantic talk.”  He spoke to her in terms she knew, appreciated and responded to. Did it come natural for him?  Probably not. Most men are verbal when they are verbal on purpose.

Solomon learned that communication was one of her top five needs. The talks, not just with her, but about her!

Females are creatures of the ear, males are creatures of the eye. 

Second, we learn from Solomon that It’s not about you, it’s about him/her—Verse 6Their honeymoon is described in 16 verses, and only once does he use the personal pronoun “I.”— “I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh.”  (Verse 6.) And even there the focus is really upon her!  At least 14 times he says, “you,” “your.”Their honeymoon is described in 16 verses, and only once does he use the personal pronoun “I.”—   (Verse 6.) And even the focus is really upon her!  At least times he says, “you,” “your.”Someone said it well:

Their honeymoon is described in 16 verses, and only once does he use the personal pronoun “I.”—   (Verse 6.) And even the focus is really upon her!  At least times he says, “you,” “your.”Someone said it well:          “Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it ‘s what
           you are expected to give—which is everything.”

In the founding documents of NOW (The National Organization For Women), you find this statement:

         “We must destroy love…love promotes vulnerability, dependence,
          possessiveness, susceptibility to pain, and prevents the full
          development of woman’s human potential by directing her energies
          outward in the interest of others.”  (Dallas Card- “Love”)

It’s a royal turn off when a man acts like it’s all about him.  I think that’s why Tarzan is called “Tarzan of the Apes,” instead of “Jane’s husband.” If you act like a monkey, you may find yourself living with the monkeys!

How do we know he’s not just manipulating her with his sweet nothins? Let’s “How do I know he really loves me?” she might be asking.

Real love can be tested. Let’s give Solomon a love test, to determine the genuineness of his love and ours as husbands:

There are nine areas: 

*Affirming and encouraging words  (Yes!)
*A humble and forgiving spirit  (Humility, yes; forgiving spirit—?)
*The desire to resolve conflict  (Next chapter)
*Patience and kindness (Yes!)
*Concern for your (her) welfare and needs (Yes!)
*Humility—a willingness to admit wrong (Not sure!)
*Self-control—not given to outbursts of anger or rage (No evidence of)
*Attention—makes time to be with (her)  (Yes! Yes!)
*Unselfishness—In everything. (Yes!)

Solomon passes with flying colors!  How about me?  How about you?

Third,  We learn from Solomon’s honeymoon…

Real Love Is In The Eye of the Lover—Verse 7

After the inventory, Solomon concludes where he began (verse 7), “You are all fair, my love.”  Then he says, “And there is no spot in you.”

He reflects on the whole package and says,

         “There’s a not one physical flaw, you are perfect.” 

I can imagine her blushing and answering, “Aw, Shucks! Solly, I know you are lying but say it again.” 

Is he lying?
Is he flattering her?
Does he need glasses?

No.  He is not describing so much what she looks like, but how he feels about her.  He’s looking at her through love glasses, and you know…on their 50th anniversary, if their love has grown, he will say the same thing!

We are being so deeply influenced by pop culture’s definition of love, and the advertising and fashion industries’ definition of beauty that we’re missing what God says.

The culture says…

”You’ve got to be perfect.”
”You’ve got to look like the cover of “Glamour,” or “Cosmo.”

Two ladies are looking at TV, and one says, “Just once I’d like to see a diet cola commercial with a girl who really needs a diet cola.”

I keep getting someone else’s AARP magazine in my mailbox. This issue’s front cover features Goldie Hawn. The title says, “Goldie—Sexy, Sixty and Speaking out!”   She looks like “Goldie—35 or 40.”

At best, it’s airbrushed; at worst, only Joan Rivers has had more lifts and tucks!

What lady over 50 can compete with this?  The good news is: You don’t have to.   Your challenge is to think biblically (and realistically), not culturally!  That’s what Solomon is doing!

One husband got it right.  He and his wife got separated in the mall.  They finally spotted each other from distance.  When they met, he embraced her and said:

     “Love, I just want you to know that whenever I’m searching for you in a
      crowd, you are the only one who is in color. The rest of the world is black
      and white to me.”

That’s mall talk but it’s not small talk…It’s love talk! 

Emily Dickenson said, “Beauty is not caused; it is.”

You probably don’t recognize this man…Benjamin B. Warfield was a world-renowned theologian who taught at Princeton University for almost 34 years until his death on February 16, 1921.

He is remembered for his many people for his famous books, like “The Inspiration and Authority of the Bible.”

But what most people don’t know is that in 1876, at 25 years of age, Benjamin Warfield married his sweetheart, a young lady named Annie. Like Solomon and Shulamite, the Warfield’s honeymoon was memorable.

They took their honeymoon in Germany, and while there, in a violent thunder storm, Annie was struck by lightning and permanently paralyzed.

After caring for his wife for 39 years, he laid her to rest in 1915.  Because of her extraordinary needs, Warfield seldom left his home for more than two hours at a time during all those 39 years of marriage.

Was Annie Warfield physically beautiful after the accident? No, but love triumphed.

Over time, infatuation fades, but..

…real love
…God’s love
…agape love

triumphs!

In the final analysis, it is a divine love, pictured best in the love that God has for us that prompted Him to send His son to the cross for sinners like us, that we might be saved!What is your response to God’s incredible, unmerited love? I pray it is to rush into the open, inviting arms of the Lord Jesus.What is your response to God’s incredible, unmerited love? I pray it is to rush into the open, inviting arms of the Lord Jesus. 

What is your response to God’s incredible, unmerited love? I pray it is to rush into the open, inviting arms of the Lord Jesus.