Pastor Larry’s sermon #15 in the Song of Solomon Series is titled A Man Alive!

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Man Alive!
Song of Sol 7:1-10 (#15) June 4, 2006


Standing outside their Houston home, Jeanne Sims kissed her husband off to work about 10:00 PM on September 5, 1991.

As she walked backed into the house she heard three gunshots. Turning, raced back outside, she collapsed to the ground beside her wounded husband. She held him until he died a few minutes later, the victim of a random shooting.

Some months later, still reeling in her grief, Jeanne wrote:

”What do I miss most? A thousand things! After 31 years together, I
miss his warmth and gentleness and the place I had in his arms…I miss
holding hands with him in worship services…I miss hearing him say, ‘My
pretty precious one, I love you.’ I miss the pager he gave me so he could
say, ‘I love you’ while I was busy at work…I miss his playfulness, his
willingness to entertain a whim and go for a hamburger at 3 O’clock in
the morning. I miss sitting for hours in the middle of the day talking,
laughing, playing, sharing. I miss preparing his favorite meal…I miss his
slightly off-key rendition of ‘Jeanne with the Light Brown Hair.”

I never met Jeanne Sim’s husband, but I know this: He was a “MAN ALIVE!” Alive to God, his wife, and to the wonder and privilege of marriage!

We meet another “Man Alive!” in the book that bears his name. Let’s find the Song of Solomon, chapter 7.

Read verses 1-10.

This awesome book of inspired poetry blends realism and idealism.

*Chapters 5 & 6, find Solomon and his bride engrossed in their first tiff. There we learn principles for dealing with misunderstandings, mistakes and conflict that occur even in good marriages.

*Chapters 7 & 8 present the dynamics of a marriage that grows deeper,
more intimate and satisfying with each passing year.

Someone said:

“Marriage is like a garden. If you fail to take care of it, it will become a
jungle, and jungles are dangerous places to live.”

The truth is, romance can wan. In too many marriages, times seems to erode away, slowly, imperceptibly…

…communication,
…caring,
…affection,
…sensitivity
…(and) spontaneity.

If you are alert, you can observe a couple across a room or seated together in a restaurant and read their RQ— Their “Romance Quotient.”

For most of these couples, there aren’t any serious conflicts draining the vitality from their intimacy. Most often, in the busyness of life they simply neglect the garden, and passion fades.

It should not happen; but when it does happen, the Evil One may walk in.

This is a letter written to Dr. Shirley Glass, who runs an on-line advice column:

Dear Dr. Glass:

I met a very interesting man online a couple of weeks ago and have
talked to him on the phone several times as well. He is enchanting,
charming, and everything I could possibly want. (Note the romantic
content.) The trouble is that I’m already married and all the way across
the way across the country from Mr. Wonderful. I really think I love this
man, what can I do?”

Signed: Confused and Charmed.

This is Dr. Glass’s wise and direct counsel:

”Dear Confused and Charmed:

Your ‘Mr. Wonderful’ may be somebody else’s philandering husband.
Internet relationships create a romantic mystique because you can
create exciting fantasies about the other person. Add a little dose of
secrecy, emotional intimacy, and sexual innuendoes, and you’ve got a
full-blown emotional affair. It is easy to be charming when you are not
dealing with the everyday irritations of leaking roofs and noisy kids.

”The love that you feel for this man is based on romantic idealization,
whereas your marriage is based on reality. Furthermore, stable long-
term relationships are seldom as exciting as stage 1 (the honeymoon)
relationships. What does your online search for companionship and
romance indicate about your marriage? Talk to your husband about
your wants and needs and try to put some energy back into your
marriage.”

From verse 1 through verse 10, where Shulamite interrupts him, Solomon is speaking…he is talking—Communicating! That grabs your attention because the typical man is sometimes a difficult creature to understand.

I ran across something that gives a glimpse into the male mind.

He thinks a relationship is going great if he doesn’t have to talk. Example: His daughter calls and he has only three things to say to her. Number 1, “How’s the weather?”; Number 2, “Need any money?”; Number 3, “Here’s your mother.”

On the other hand, the phone rings, his wife answers it and talks for 30 minutes. She hangs up and you say, “Who was that?” She answers, “I don’t know, she had the wrong number.”

When a woman is going out she has to decide if she is going to wear her hair up or down. If she’s going to wear flats or heels; if she is going to wear slacks or a dress; Is she going to wear stockings, knee highs or socks; If she is going to wears lots or little makeup.

Now, a man, he picks up some clothes, smells them, if there is no visible dirt, he has himself an outfit!

A man makes a fashion statement by turning the brim of his baseball cap backwards. Women dress to express themselves; men dress so they won’t be naked.

Men are not the easiest of God’s creatures to understand. (Could I have an amen?)

There is a concerted effort in our culture to present men in a very negative light. First, there was Archie Bunker, then came Al Bundy; more recently there was a sitcom on NBC entitled, “Men Behaving Badly.” Men were portrayed as rude, crude, low-life animals. The stereotype is that all men care about is sports and Coors Light.

Solomon is a model of a man’s man—God’s man. He is the King of Israel but doesn’t write a book on business or political leadership; he is first and foremost a husband, who understands that his greatest capital…his greatest impact is his calling as Shulamite’s husband.

As we read first ten verses, you may have thought, “Wait, a minute. This is familiar.” He uses words and phrases that are strikingly similar to what he said on their wedding night (4:1-5).

…Then he focuses on seven of her physical and character attributes.

Some commentators point out that in biblical numerology the number
seven often signifies what? Perfection. So, they assert, he affirms her
even in the very number of praise points.

…In this poem of praise, Solomon celebrates ten attributes. Ten often
signifies completeness or fullness.

*God gave Ten Commandments, which Solomon called “the whole duty of
man…” (Eccles 12:13)
*When God judged Egypt, he sent 10 plagues
*In Revelation, when human history will be wrapped up, 10 is prominent.

There is a different mood in this description. On their wedding night, there is a delicate formality; now there is a growing familiarity. There is a familiar adage that says “familiarity breeds contempt”; in a growing, Christ-
centered marriage, familiarity breeds intimacy.

Family experts tell us that a lack of intimacy is the number one reason marriages fail.

Intimacy can be defined as “It’s into me see.” (Say it with me.) It’s having the respect to look into me, knowing that I will do the same for you

Intimacy with God and others is the cry of the human heart. Who is this NBA Hall of Famer of yesteryear? Wilt Chamberlain. In his autobiography, the never-married Chamberlain, claims to have slept with 20,000 women. Commenting on this, a columnist, Clarence Page said, (Quote)

“[Chamberlain] went on to write that he would have traded all 20,000 for
one woman he wanted to stay with for keeps.”

Intimacy isn’t mouth to ear, not even hand to hand, or body to body, it is soul to soul, spirit to spirit. We are seeing deepening intimacy in the Solomon’s fledging marriage. Hold that thought.

Solomon’s survey is in reverse—He begins with her feet and concludes with her hair (in verse 7).

He feels about his bride like the young man felt about his fiancée. “I look at her,” he said, “and I can’t breath.”

…Not many people consider feet to be a beauty point. He says, “How
beautiful are your feet in sandals.” How many pairs of sandals do think she
may have had in the closet?

…Her thighs were like the work of Michelangelo.

…Her navel—There aren’t a lot of those in the family album—If there’s a
“seen one seen ‘em all”—That’s it, but not in Solomon’s mind.

The term is most often translated “umbilical cord” or “birth string” in
passages like Ezek 16:4.

…Ladies, this next one really gets to you, doesn’t it: “You waist (better, “your
stomach”) is like a pile of wheat.” Wine and wheat were basic food for any
meal. He says, “Just the sight of you is a perpetual feast.”

…”Your eyes are like the pools of Hesbon…”—Luminous, clear, deep.

USA Today did a survey in which they ask men what they first noticed
about a woman. Interestingly, the number one thing they noticed first was
the eyes- 39 percent; second was the smile- 25 percent; only 14 percent
said the body.

…As on their wedding night, He can’t avoid commenting on her neck—
“It’s like an ivory tower.” “Your neck like an irresistible piece of smooth
ivory,” he says.

…Have you seen the fine print on some of those sports car commercials?
“Closed track. Professional driver. Do not attempt.” Solomon’s next
observation should be labeled: “Professional, Near-Eastern Poet. Do not
attempt at home.”—

”Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon”- To the western female, nothing he says about her nose will be taken as complimentary! He could have avoided this one!

“The tower of Lebanon” is probably beautiful Mount Hermon…the crown jewel of the region…where pagans believed it the gods lived! ”Your beautiful nose,” he says, “crowns and completes all of your exquisite features.”

This is obviously not an early morning conversation, he say in last line of verse 8 and verse 9:

“Your breath is as sweet-smelling as apples and your kisses as sweet as
wine.”

It’s a night conversation. She is so wooed and inspired that she interrupts his paradigm of praise. She picks up on his reference to wine and they fall asleep embracing each other.

Verse 10 is the third summary refrain of the Song.

*2:16, she says, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.”
*6:3, She says, “I am my beloved’s. And my beloved is mine.”
*7:10—”I am my beloved’s, And his desire is toward me.”

Study those three occurrences for a moment… Notice how her security in her husband’s love has deepened.

…In her first retrain, she places her possession of her beloved as primary,
and his possession of her secondary.

…The second time she reverses it, placing his possession of her as primary,
which points to greater security.

…In the third, she not only places his possession of her first, but strengthens
it by adding, “and his desire is toward me.” She is so focused upon him
that she omits her possession of him. She has lost herself in him and
thereby found herself.

The Hebrew verb translated “desire” is very carefully chosen. It is used on just two other occasions in Scripture.

One of the occurrences is in Genesis 3:16, where part of the curse upon mankind for sin would be the woman’s excessive desire to rule over her husband.

Commentator R. K. Hughes writes:

“The woman would now desire to control her husband, but she would fail
because God ordained that man should lead. Nevertheless strife would
persist in domestic relationships.”

The battle of the sexes and Women’s liberation began right there.

Solomon is ready and willing to lead and she is so secure in her confidence and trust in him that she is eager to follow!

The power of love is such that a truly growing, intimate marriage, part of the curse on mankind, has been reversed.

I have a couple of friends who were married in midlife. When they had been married about six months, I asked the wife how things were going. With a radiant smile, she replied,

“Well, just the other night he said to me, ‘I think we have a bit of heaven
here.’”

What does this passage say about the foundation stones of a marriage that qualifies for as such a marvelous appraisal?

Two Abiding Principles:

1. A Growing, Deepening Marriage Is Marked By Continual Praise

He says to her (verse 1)—”Oh prince’s daughter.” Was she? Not literally.
She was a country girl from a red color family… “You are royalty to me.”

No spouse outgrows the need for affirmation and approval.

A couple was celebrating their 50th anniversary. I’m sure they could have
complained about something. But in his remarks, the husband said: “She is
all I will ever have. She is all I will ever want.” What maturity of praise!

2. A Genuine Love That Grows Is Marked By Commitment, Intimacy and
Passion.

*Verbal Commitment is the stuff that trust and security are made of.

* Webster defines “intimacy” as:

“Pertaining to the inward character of a thing; very familiar; promoting a
feeling of privacy, coziness, romance; resulting from careful study and
investigation.”

McCall’s magazine asked 20,000 women the question, “What is most important to you now?” Sixty-one percent replied, ‘a feeling of being close to someone.’ Intimacy has three key ingredients:

…Respect—Some ignore or discount the feelings of the other. One
husband said, “I need more physical intimacy.” “No you
don’t,” his wife said, “You just think you do.”

…Openness— You can’t have true intimacy as long as one is
keeping secrets from the other.

…Vulnerability—That means you are reachable, teachable.

*Passion— This includes romance. Someone says, “I want what we had
when we were twenty-two.”

Tim LaHaye tells about when his wife, Beverly, turned 40. He said to her, “I’m going to trade you in for two twenties.” “You’re not wired for two twenties,” She said.

One researcher from Yale University did extensive research in this area. He concluded: “Passion is a craving for union (oneness).”

How much do you know about Proverbs 32? “Thirty-two? If my memory serves me, there are only 31 chapters in Proverbs!”

Proverbs 31 is a famous chapter…a tribute to the virtuous woman. Someone has written about a Proverbs 32 kind of man. Just a few excerpts.

”A husband of noble character, who can find? He works hard to provide for
his family. He promptly comes home from work and immediately pitches in
with the chores, helps the children with their homework, or making dinner.

When his wife prepares a meal, he always eats with gusto. And when
finished, never forgets to smile and tell her how great it was.

As a father, there is no equal on the face of the earth. He is a whiz at
math, science, and spelling. He can fix any problem, from a scraped knee
to loose bicycle chains. He teaches his children how to pray.

He always shows his wife the utmost respect. A day seldom passes when
he doesn’t tell her of his love for her. Anniversaries and birthdays are never
forgotten.

His children, while not always calling his blessed, have no doubt about his
great love for them. His wife also calls him ‘the best.’

Good looks are fleeting; but a man who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

That man is truly Alive!

I want to talk to you briefly now about a relationship that transcends the husband/wife relationship. I want to tell you about someone who loves you with the deepest imaginable passion. And his name is Jesus. Jesus says,

“I went to the cross; I died on the cross, because I had a passion for
you. I shed my blood for you; I gave my life for you. Because I want
you to be my beloved forever. “

And I wonder this morning, how will you respond to the passion of the Lord Jesus for your soul. The bible says, the Lord Jesus satisfies the human soul. And you can walk out of this building this morning saying,

“Now I belong Jesus; Jesus belongs to me, not for the years of time
alone but for eternity.”

Sing.