Sun 25 Jun 2006
June 25, 2006 - SoS Final
Posted by Chuck Holton under Sermons
Today Pastor Halsey preached his final installment of the Song of Solomon series - Finding Love in All the right places. Prior to the sermon, we heard from Mark Bowers, who is home from Vietnam, where he works as a teacher.
Click here to listen to the sermon.
Fanning The Flames of Lifelong Love!
Song of Solomon 8:5-14 (#17)
“Fanning The Flames of Lifelong Love.” Is the final message in the series, “Finding Love In All The Right Places.”
Let’s find The Song of Solomon chapter 8.
Read verses 5-14.
We have in our church family couples who have celebrated 50 or more years of marriage. We are blessed by their example and their presence among us. If you have been married 50 or more years, would you please stand. (Applause.)
A rural Appalachian wife said to her husband, “Today is our 50th wedding anniversary. Do you think I ought to kill a chicken tonight? He said, “No, I don’t think we should blame a bird for something that happened 50 years ago.”
Another older couple were sitting together by the fire one winter evening when he looked over at her, and with a twinkle in his eye, said:
“After 50 years, I’ve found you tried and true.”
A bit hard of hearing, she answered: “What did you say?”
He repeated, “I said, after 50 years, I’ve found you tried and true.”
Lowering her eyebrows, she said, “After 50 years I’m tired of you too.”
Longevity is a notable accomplishment in a day when the average marriage is lasting seven years.
But durability, while admirable, cannot be the measurement of marriage. God designed marriages to grow and mature. Time alone will never strength a marital relationship.
A teacher complained about being passed over for a promotion. “After all,” she said to her supervisor, “I have 20 years of experience. “No,” he said, “You have one year of experience repeated 20 times.”
The quality of our experience is far more important than merely quantity.
Solomon and Shulamite have encouraged us at every phase of our relationships…
…We met them as dating singles;
…We observed in wonder as their love budded and blossomed, culminating
in their wedding day.
…We looked on with rapt fascination as they negotiated their first
tiff…sparked by self-centeredness and indifference.
…We rejoiced in their reconciliation and the principles they teach us.
In this closing scene opens with a question, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness?” There are two persons in the chariot, a husband and his wife——returning to the palace after a chariot ride into the country, presumably in the cool of the evening.
They are no longer newly weds. In fact, they have probably been married 20, perhaps 30 years.
One writer notes:
“We are witnessing something like the curtain call at the end of a play or
musical. One by one the leading characters come forward, take a bow,
and through a characteristic action or a few well-chose words, recall what
has gone before.”
Imagine in your mind’s eye, the king, with the queen at his side, seated in their gold-studded chariot, drawn by ornately decorated horses, arriving at the palace gate.
In their curtain call, they teach us three dynamic, abiding principles.
Number One: No Person Is Perfect, As No Marriage Is Perfect.
Realistic Expectations Are Essential.
We have seen the Solomons in their best and worst moments.
And You Wonder Why It Didn’t Last…
*She married him because he was such a “strong man.”
She divorced him because he was such a “dominating male.”
*He married her because she was so “fragile and petite.”
He divorced her because she was so “weak and helpless.”
*She married him because “he knows how to provide a good living.”
She divorced him because “all he thinks about is business.”
*He married her because “she reminds me of my mother.”
He divorced her because “she’s getting more like her mother every day.”
*She married him because he was “happy and romantic.”
She divorced him because he was “shiftless and fun-loving.”
*He married her because she was “steady and sensible.”
he divorced her because she was “boring and dull.”
No person and no marriage is perfect. Forget the movies.
Principle number 2. Love Is A God-Ordained Gift. Understand and Appreciate it.
Solomon and Shulamite Teach Us What Love Is.
Charlie Brown says love is a warm puppy. Singer Ali McGraw said, “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”
”What does love mean?” was a question put to a group of kids in an interview about love and marriage.
*Karl, age 5, answered:
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other.”
*Terri, age 4 said:
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
*Noelle, age 7:
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”
*Emily, age 8:
“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy
are like that.”
*Elaine, age 5:
“Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.”
This one is my favorite:
*Rebecca, age 8, had keen insight:
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”
The kids are saying what the Solomons are saying: Love is about romance—feeling emotion— but it’s always evidenced in action.
What does love mean? Four things:
A. Love Is intimate—Verse 5-6
Shulamite is leaning on his arm, a symbol of trust, confidence, affection. It is a picture of a “leave, cleave” relationship the Creator designed in the beginning.
This is a day of the two-headed, independent marriage.
…Separate names
…Separate goals,
…Separate finances and careers,
…Separate bedrooms
…Separate lives
In verse six, she says, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon
your arm.”
In OT times, a signet ring, worn on the hand (Gen 41:42) or around the neck on a chain (Prov 3:3), was a symbol of ownership, and the value played on things. In Genesis 38, Judas’ seal was an admission of paternity.
Shulamite desires that they be sealed to each other at two levels.
…heart to heart—Inseparably linked in oneness and devotion.
…arm to arm—That there be no doubt in the public’s mind that he was her
man.
How is this seal indicated in the day-to-day of marriage?
Love Is Intimate.
Second, Love Is Intense—Verse 6b
She says love is as strong as death. At first glance, this image does not seem romantic! Think about it. Death is final, permanent, irreversible.
“Our love is of such a quality” she says, “It is other than infatuation; it is transcends physical attraction, is light years from lust…
Then she says that love is jealous. “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave.”
We often think of jealousy as a green-eyed monster (motivated by envy); But jealousy may be an admirable quality denoting single-minded devotion.
In connection with the 1st Commandment, “You shall not other God before me,” (Exo 20:5), he says, “I am a jealous God.” Meaning that he demands undivided devotion; He loves you with an ardent love that brooks no rival and demands undivided devotion in return.
This is the best part… She says, “Its flames are flames of fire…”
Look at the Hebrew word translated “flames of fire” on the screen. (Shalhebethyah). The important part is the suffix “yah.” It’s a shortened form of God’s name “Yahweh,” an OT name for God.
An intense, Godly love that grows and matures with time, despite trials, trouble and age, burns with flames of passion and commitment given by God Himself. It’s not just some feely, emotional, even physical impulse. It emanates from God Himself! His gift!
Love is Intimate.
Love is Intense
Third, Love is Indestructible—Verse 7a—
“Many waters cannot quench love, Nor can the floods drown it.”
It happens all the time. The question now among children and teenagers is not “what does your parents do,” but “Is your parents still together?”
What does this mean? She is saying, “Water can put out flames, but a deep, God-initiated, God-energized love, triumphs over all obstacles.
After the release of the first Rocky movie, Sylvester Stallone was asked whether he thought boxing was good for physical conditioning. “Boxing is a wonderful sport for conditioning as long as you can holler, ‘cut.’
Love endures in a Christ-centered marriage.
Shulamite has said, “Our marriage has been flamed by God himself.”
In verse 5, she remembers their honeymoon night, and takes what God was doing in their marriage all the way back to Solomon’s birth—“There your mother brought you forth.” The idea is, “Your mother conceived and birthed you in love just for me.”
She viewed their relationship as not only God-blessed, but God-ordained or God-authored.
Couples, it’s very important, that—in good times and bad—you are overshadowed by a sense of God’s Providence in your marriage. Maybe you were both unsaved; maybe you now know that you married for the wrong reasons; you doubt that it is a marriage made in heaven.
One husband commented: “God gave me the wife I needed to have. It hasn’t
been easy, but God knew that I needed just this kind of woman to bring
about some changes and growth in me.”
That man will be blessed for his faith and perseverance!
Love is…
…Intimate
…Intense
…Indestructible
In verse 7b, she says, “Love is Invaluable.”
””All the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised.”
This love can’t be purchased at the world’s most exclusive auctions in New York or London; or Harrods’s, or anywhere else in the world. When you have it—Know it value! Honor it as it deserves!
Principle Number One: No Person Is Perfect, As No Marriage Is Perfect.
Realistic Expectations Are Essential.
Principle Number Two: Principle number 2. Love Is A God-Ordained Gift. Understand and Appreciate it.
Principle Number Three: Preparation For Marriage Begins in Childhood.
Decide Now.
This principle deserves an entire message.
In verse 6, Shula goes back to Solomon’s conception.
In verses 8-11, her brothers speak. We were introduced to them in chapter 1, where she days they forced her to work in the family vineyard. When everyone else was out with friends, meeting boys…She was never allowed that opportunity. There was an economic reason…there was another reason…
They talk about her childhood growing up in the country. There is no mention of her parents; the brothers stepped up to the plate. They had a strategy: to protect her virginity…her moral purity; to prepare her for (verse 
“the day she is spoken for.”
The Hebrew word translated “sister,” means a girl 12 years old. Her preparation for marriage began before puberty.
The brother’s strategy is simple and wise, and offers wise counsel to parents, children and teens today. Their strategy was simple: The freedoms she would be given were dependent upon her character. (This applies to boys too.)
”If she is a wall”—If she refuses the physical, sexual advances of boys; if she doesn’t place herself in situations where temptation will become an avalanche. “If she shows moral character and discernment,” they say, “we will reward her with freedom and honor.”
”But if she is a door”—swinging herself open to every smooth-talking boy or man who comes along, “we will board her up like a door barricaded with cedars.”
I have Four Application Exhortations:
First, Parents, know you kids.
A father of four and I were talking. He was talking about his kids…their temperaments, personalities. He mentioned one of his daughters specifically and said, “She is our sensual one.” What intrigued me was she was five or six years old. I quizzed him on what he had picked up on.
When Proverbs said, “Train up a child in the way he should go…” What God is saying is, “Raise up a child according to his or her individual bent, proclivity.” That applies to the way you discipline…the freedoms you give; the restrictions you set.
Some things you may allow just aren’t smart. You have to protect kids from the evil one; you have called to protect them from themselves. A well-meaning, Christian teen may say, “Dad, mom, don’t you trust me,” and then fall into awful sin.
One of Satan’s plans for your kids is that they be left unaccountable and unprotected.
Shula says, “I was raised in a home where I was encouraged and disciplined.”
Exhortation Number Two: Kids, Teens, Obey Your Parents With A Christ-like Attitude.
Don’t resist them, disobey them, do things in secret that you know they would never approve of. Shulamite looks back to her teen years and says,
“I was a wall. I accepted their counsel, I protected myself, when I came to
puberty, I didn’t allow my self to be touched inappropriately.”
Some years ago, the national media carried a story about a football player, who, with ball tucked firmly under his arm, ran like crazy, full speed ahead for a touch down! Fifty yard line…40…30…! When suddenly, out of nowhere one of his team mates tackled him!
He jumped up yelling and screaming and calling his teammate some names that didn’t make his mother proud! The other guys on the team high-fived the tackler.
Do you know why? The runner was gotten disoriented and was running the wrong way. He was about to make a touchdown for the opposing team.
Teenagers sometimes feel that way. You feel like you are being tackled by your parents:
“Why can’t I go there with me friends?”
”Why are they so strict?”
”Don’t they understand: this is the 21 century?”
”Why can’t I have the same privileges that my friends have?”
If you will humbly submit, there’s a good chance that one day when you are 18 or 22, you’ll bless them for their love and guidance. You see,
…they’ve played the game a lot longer than you have.
…They know more than you do.
…They have some experience and stories they’ll probably never tell you.
Exhortation Number Three is To The Singles and Singles Again.
Obedience to God in your date life paves the way for blessing and contentment. Be Willing!
Shulamite says, “I was a wall…then I became in his eyes as one who found peace.” The emphasis of the text is the little word “then.” It’s a time word.
To whom does the “his” refer? “I became in his eyes.” Solomon!
”It was when I made a commitment to wait on God, to do it his way, that God brought my beloved into my life.”
How old was she when she met Solomon? I don’t know but she was old enough to be discontent with her singleness. Whatever the gift of celibacy is, she knew early on that she didn’t have it (and didn’t want it)!
The word translated “peace” is Shalom. It’s much more than freedom from agitation or worry…It is a sense of contentment and well being that permeates the whole person…
Tell me this: *What were the chances of the king showing up at her family’s
vineyard many miles from Jerusalem? He did!
*When will a woman find a husband? When will a man find a wife? God brought Solomon into her life when she was willing to be single forever rather than sacrifice her purity before God.
”It was when I made the commitment that I would be a wall,” she says, “then….!
Singles and Singles Again, Will you wait on Him?
The Fourth Exhortation (a plea) To Married People…
Don’t let the precious gift of marriage to become dull and Routine. Be Creative!
Hollywood could never touch the ending of the last scene. They are probably a middle-aged couple now. They are strolling together into the sunset. Shulamite speaks one final time: (Read verse 14)
The Hebrew says something like this: “Sneak away with me, my beloved.”
It connotes the idea of escape or flight. She’s not talking about a trip to the Dairy Queen at Hinton!
How many Christian couples, who would never seriously entertain the thought of divorce, live in a hollow, unfulfilling, boring, routine sham of a marriage! It’s a sin against God and his wonderful gift!
Someone says, “Pastor, that’s us.” Well, what are you going to do about it.
No matter how enduring and successful a marriage appears, it is in need of continual, perpetual renewal and refreshment.
There was a piece in the news recently about a guy who died sitting at his desk at work, and it was five days before anybody noticed. A marriage can be like that!
In 2004, a journalist interviewed Dr. and Mrs. Billy Graham. Later he said this:
Bill will be 85 in November. He and his wife just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Neither of them is doing well at all, but Billy said [in the interview], ‘We’ve discovered we can continue our love affair with our eyes.”
I heard about an old guy who trusted Jesus as his personal Savior, and was baptized. When he came up out of the water he exclaimed, “Hallelujah, my sins are all washed away!” A friend who knew him, standing on the shore said, “God help the fish.”
Listen, I don’t care what you have done; God says, “I love you with an everlasting love. You just come to me just as you are, by faith, invite Me into your life; I will come in and be your Savior and your Guide.
Solomon and Shulamite—Thank you for your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in the telling of your story!
…You have blessed us!
…You have instructed us!
…You have inspired us.
And all God’s people said: Amen!
Let’s find The .