Faith Baptist Church

Family Matters (Part 2) 
                                     Titus 2:2-5 
 
When was the last time you sat down with pen and paper to write a handwritten letter?  
   
A mother named Barbara from Bellevue, Washington, writes: 
 
    “Snail mail, I decided, is definitely dead. Before I left on a trip to Alaska, I  
    promised my five-year-old grandson, ‘I’ll write you a letter when I get there.’ 
 
    “Okay,” he said.  “I’d like an A.” 
 
Some observed: 
 
    “E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many  
    many of them r 2 cursory 4 u.” 
 
One elementary student complained that he had has real trouble reading cursive writing.. 
 
In the computer age, letter writing is going the way of the dinosaur.  
 
Imagine how spell-bound the believers on Crete were, when Titus took out a handwritten scroll from the Apostle Paul.  As it was read, there was a quiet respect, a hallowed silence.  It would be studied with a microscope, every word and phrase the very Word of God. 
 
This little 46-verse, three-chapter letter, is of immense importance.  It’s a how-to-walk-the-talk-in-challenging times instruction manual.  It’s as fresh as the morning newspaper—I mean the on-line news report. 
 
Have you heard about the Church For Men in Daytona Beach? An article reads: 
 
    “In a reaction to the growing disparity of church attendance between men  
    and women, one church in Daytona Beach, Fl., has declared itself for men  
    only. The so-called Church for men, which meets one Sunday night each  
    month, has barred women from attending and (this is the frightening part)  
    installed a basketball shot clock to time the preacher’s message.” 
 
A local, NT church—is a body—made up of all ages, genders, lifestyles— Redeemed people who are learning to walk together, and to walk the take before a watching world. 
 
Titus addresses four cross-sections in the assembly— 
 
…older men 
…older women 
…younger women  
…and younger men 
 
Each bit of instruction is tailor-made to each life stage. 
 
He begins with those who have the place of greatest influence. “older men” are those age 50 and older.  There are six words of instruction for us, men. 
 
When the famous jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes was well past 50, one day he got on a train. After the train left the station, the conductor slipped through the cars collecting tickets.  When he came to Holmes, he couldn’t find his. He went through all his pockets—nothing! 
 
The conductor, recognizing the famous passenger, said: 
 
       “That alright Mr. Holmes. I’m sure you wouldn’t have gotten on this train if 
        you didn’t have a ticket. I’m not going to worry about it; when you get  
        home and find it, just send it back to the company and my validations will  
        then all be exact.  
 
Looking at the conductor, Holmes replied, “Young man, that’s not my problem. I don’t care about giving my ticket to the railroad.  I just want to know where in the blazes I’m going.” 
 
Someone said we should revere people as they get older: 
 
       “We should remember they are worth a fortune. They have silver in their  
        hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in the feet and gas  
        in their stomach.” 
 
Older brothers, maybe you aren’t there yet, or maybe you are!  These guidelines are for all of us. 
 
First we are to be “sober.”  That doesn’t mean “free from intoxication.”  It’s much broader.  It means mastering appetites and urges in all circumstances; not self indulgent. 
 
It is means we avoid overindulgences in any area.  It suggests keeping things in balance, within limits. Careful to avoid any addictions…whatever may entice men in our age group.  Maybe… 
 
…pornography,  
…an over-dependence upon medication.  
…Maybe it’s the temptation shift into neutral and fritter away time, oblivious to 
         opportunities for service right under your nose. 
 
The point is, you keep it within reason. 
 
The second, is reverent. A better word is “dignified.  The KJV says, “grave.”  When I read that, one guy pops into my mind—This guy—Lurch on the Adams Family.  (“You Rang.”) 
 
In the original it means “to be worthy of honor and others respect.” One paraphrase says, “Not a clown.” That doesn’t mean you don’t possess a sense of humor; that’s more important than ever as the aging process becomes all-too evident. 
 
But you aren’t frivolous, trivial, tedious or superficial.  You think deeply about important things; you know when a joke is appropriate and when it isn’t.  
 
We men can be very tedious.  I like telling the same stories.  My family and the staff are so patient.  I’ve learned a mild disclaimer, “I’ve probably told you this before..” I ignore them when they say, “As a matter of fact, you have.” I go on and tell it—again!   
 
Men, we enjoy telling them, but they don’t want to hear them 20 times. 
 
The next is one of my favorite words in the NT. The New King James translates it “temperate.”  The idea is “sensible.”   
 
The word means, “Having good judgment, discerning, having common sense.”   
 
A man with common sense knows when he’s wearing his welcome out. He knows when he’s saying too much, when he stays too long….when he’s being a drag on the family.  You may be lonely…be sensible.  Don’t be hard to be around. We have to work at that. 
 
With the passing of the years, should come this kind of wisdom. 
 
The first three in the category represent what I would call respectability.  
 
The last three, appearing at the end of verse 3, fall into the area of maturity.  
 
In this area we are told to be “sound in faith,” “in love,” and “perseverance.” 
 
“Sound in faith”—Same word as in “sound doctrine” in verse 1. Remember our word?- “hygiene.”— Healthy, life giving.   
 
We’ve walked with the Lord long enough to know that He is trustworthy, and in our trust we can help the younger to know they can trust Him too. We’ve seen him working in situations that were humanly impossible, mind-boggling, and have the joy of growing older with those who have not been there. 
 
And when they see your bold faith and trust, they are emboldened too. It’s one of our richest legacies, men.  I think this is why Moses was God’s choice to lead the people across the Red Sea at age 120.  He knew God was able, and they knew He knew God was able…so that made it a lot easier for them to trust Him too! 
 
Tell your war-stories (appropriately).  Share your testimony.  You can do that without out sounding like Barney Fife, “Now, there a few lessons here…” 
 
The Principle:  When you know what you know, and you share want you know, you help the younger to know. 
 
Sound in faith, and sensitive in our love.  The word is really, “sound in our love.”  It’s agape love…doing for others what is for their highest good.  You’ve lived long enough to know that your family isn’t perfect…That includes your daughters and/or sons in law.   
 
Churchill’s actress daughter Sarah was married for a time to a music-hall entertainer.  A man named Vic Oliver.  Churchill didn’t particularly like him. Out walking one day, Oliver asked his father-in-law whom he most admired in the war. (WW II). “Mussolini,” growled Churchill surprisingly, adding, “He had the courage to have his son-in-law shot.”  (He did. His son in law was convicted of high treason and hanged.) 
 
Churchill made his point, as only Churchill could, but I wonder if comments like that could have contributed to the demise of his daughter’s marriage. It certainly did not win the love and respect of his son in law. 
 
This love includes the grand kids as well.  It may even extend to nephews and nieces. 
 
No matter how families portray themselves, there are rift in most families. Read through the lines you get the impression that Judge Judy has them too. 
 
When they disappoint you, you can either pray, and exhort and encourage in love, or make a point and risk losing their trust and respect.   
 
You don’t wait to be loved in return, you show love even though it isn’t reciprocated. 
 
Men, this phrase also means we are careful with the use of affection. Not doing something inappropriate with the younger women. Body language will tell you if she wants to be touched.  If she does this (cross with fingers), it’s a pretty sure sign. 
 
If you want to be respected, be (1) sound in faith, and (2) in your love.   
 
Then, sound in perseverance.  It’s the best transition of the word “patience.”  
 
This one challenges me most. It means “holding up under the load, the pressure.”  When we get older we can become full of fear.  And those fears can be shared indiscriminately with those near us.  Let’s not go there. Let’s be sound in our perseverance, able to carry the load yourself.  Don’t’ expect your family to take care of the load for you, until you are physically unable or mentally unable to handle it yourself. 
 
John MacArthur has this helpful note: 
 
   “In spite of disappointment, unfulfilled aspirations, physical weakness, and  
    growing loneliness, he never loses heart.” 
 
By the grace of God, you just “keep on keeping on”— Positive, hopeful, helpful, self-sacrificing, involved, plugged-in.  
 
As a younger-older friend and brother, let me offer a word of advice—Older brothers—Keep being who you are.  You are invaluable to the church of Jesus Christ, and to Faith Baptist Church.  
 
You are a wonderful advertisement on how to grow older. Challenge those around you with your fresh thoughts and your kind words, and your very carefully chosen words of love. 
 
Now. We enter the world of diplomacy.  “the older women, likewise.” 
 
That means if you are past 97, you would be an older women!  Paul probably has in mind a woman who is 60 and above. Why do I say that?  Listen closely.  In I Tim 5:9, Paul is describing widows who are in dire need for the church to help them with food and clothing and shelter.  He says they are qualify if they are “sixty years of age or older.”  It’s the same word translated “older” in verse two. 
 
And it is also used with reference to the woman who has gotten beyond the age of childbearing (45-50) and child rearing.    
 
Ladies, this is for you. “Likewise,” as I spoke directly to the men, I want to speak to you ladies who are getting up in years.  
 
You are to be “likewise’ reverence in your behavior.  The point is, you point others toward the things of God. You are a representative of his Son. You are never too old for that.  You are authentically godly.  May I add just one more thought; no extra charge— You are your age, that’s great. .  
 
Two neighbors appeared in court, each woman accusing the other of causing trouble in the building where they lived. “Let’s get to the evidence,” the judge said in an effort to stop the bickering. “I’ll hear the oldest woman first.”  The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. 
 
Someone sent me these evidences of aging clues: 
 
   “Nyquil: the stuffy, sneezing, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning medicine.” 
   “Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.’ 
   “Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” 
   “Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.” 
   “You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.” 
 
Ladies, you are getting older.  You’re the only one who is concerned about that.  (By the way, only in western cultures do women view aging as a negative, dreaded thing.  Advertising and consumerism are the number 1 culprits. Just be who you are.  Be yourself.  You don’t have to wear a badge…I’m 67.  The most godly kind of lifestyle comes out of authentic people. 
 
That’s a beauty that is beyond description.  He adds here for older women:  “That you not be malicious gossips or enslaved to much wine.” Both of these are moral failures you are to diligently avoid.  Please guard your lips.  You who are gossips, you don’t realize the damage you do. Confidentiality is one of the greatest gifts you can give another.  
 
Then he says, “Be faithful in your teaching, teaching that which is good.”  
 
Someone says, “Wait pastor. I’m not a teacher. I’ve never stood before a class; I don’t have the spiritual gift of teaching.” 
 
This word does not refer to formal instruction, but the advice and encouragement they give privately—one on one, by word and example. 
 
Not only do you teach your children, you teach other women what is good— a godly life style. 
 
More specifically, you have a particular ministry to the younger women. I want to spend some time on this crucial, critical, indispensable ministry. 
 
For all of us who live today… a couple of timeless principles… 
 
1. Age mixed with maturity provides a credibility that can not be  
    ignored. 
 
When you are older and you are mature, you have credibility.  You don’t even have to ask for it!   
 
2. Modeling and mentoring cultivate an integrity that won’t be forgotten.   
 
It makes you a ministry, an influence, that’s eternal. 
 
F. B. Meyer is a name known today by Christians aware of God’s workings in Britain and the US over the last 100 years.  His helpful books are still in print. 
 
Meyer was a pastor in London, and later in Boston during the Victorian era, the “the golden age of preaching”—His contemporaries included Charles Spurgeon, G. Campbell Morgan and others. 
 
When Meyer was past 80 years old, he was still traveling, preaching. They would help him onto the platform and he would preach from a chair.   
 
On one occasion, preaching in a church in Canada, Dr. Meyer said to the host pastor: 
 
      “I am asking my heavenly father to let the river of my life to flow on.  I  
      don’t want my life to end in a swamp.” 
 
God answered that prayer. 
 
A swamp is that way because it isn’t giving; it’s taking, containing, holding, stagnating. 
 
Read Proverbs 4:18 with me (on the screen): 
 
   “But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter  
    unto the perfect day.” 
 
The Message paraphrases it like this: 
 
    “The ways of right-living people glow with light; the longer they live, the  
     brighter they shine.”